There is one week and two days to go until my marriage to D. Because of my fall and my subsequent broken toe there are still things that haven’t been done that need to be done (general tidying, checking that my make-up – which I buy but almost never wear – is useable for the day and trying on my wedding shoes).
Instead of doing my usual panicky, flapping around about things I’m taking it easy and not bothering to worry. I can’t plan for things like broken digits after all, so I just have to go with the flow on this one. There’s no choice for me in the matter.
Yesterday I successfully Freecycled some cuttings from my plant and D took me to my local salon for a long-overdue haircut. That was an achievement in itself, as I have to walk up a flight of concrete steps to reach the place, but they are very accommodating of my obvious disability, courteous, don’t try to rush me and my hairdresser of choice always does a sterling job on my hair. It is now in a graded bob which will look wonderful on the day of the wedding (I’m going bare-headed, as my hair is very fine and flattens easily).
My new jeans arrived today. I haven’t tried them on yet but they are a UK size 12. I might keep the size 14’s I have in case I ever gain weight again though.
I’ve spent the day searching for images of my favourite Vampire:
Actually, Spike is relevant to this post, as I have a long-standing interest in Vampires – ever since reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula as a teenager. I began reading everything I could find on the subject, from Vlad The Impaler to ancient and modern folklore. I learned about Nosferatu, and how they differ from the Vampires of today’s perception. Nosferatu and Vampires, if real, would possibly be two different species – the Nosferatu being more like a bloodthirsty Goblin and the Vampire being something that used to be human and still maintains that physical illusion to stalk its prey.
Then Spike arrived on the scene of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, with his paramour and Maker, Drusilla. The couple intrigued me from the first moment they were shown together and I began to see that – if such creatures truly existed – there was a softer side to the Vampire nature. Here I was, watching this strong, violent, infamous Vampire gently nurturing his ailing, probably insane lover – and I was hooked on their love story. It didn’t seem as though they were merely acting in a scene in a studio; the tenderness between them was so tangible that you could almost reach out and touch it.
I’ve forgotten who portrayed Drusilla now, but James Marsters made Spike very real to a wide audience. Allegedly he was intended to be a one-time character who got killed off by Buffy, but he proved so popular that Whedon had to write him in as a regular main character. After all he had a harder edge than Angel; he was sassier, louder, seemingly more confident, arrogant and a good deal better looking. Whedon still refers to Spike as his “Most complete character”.
I see Dru and Spike as a very real depiction of what love should be. Sometimes dark, always unpredictable, always beautiful. Undying, steadfast, endless and forever.
When D slides the ring on to my finger and the “forever” vows are made, we will both be meaning it. I have finally – after all these years – found my living, breathing version of the loyal Spike and I will never be stupid enough to drive him away or let him go. Like Dru herself, I am somewhat ailing in health because of my disability, but he has always, without fail, stood by me and supported me.
Who knew that one mythical Vampire and handsome actor could inspire a blog post about love? Each muse I find truly amazes me by its unexpected relevance to whatever it is that I wish to say.